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“It’s never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot.

I had to do this someday, I knew I had taken a little longer. I typed few words quickly to my manager as I underwent a weird uneasiness in my belly. After I hit the send button the world probably paused for a moment. It took me sometime to realise what I had done. A few quick calls to my friends, calming myself to be free now! What seemed like a sense-of-freedom, at last.

This idea didn’t happen in a day or in an year, I can’t point where it began. The thought of owing a venture never left me and I never left it. Later on that day, I started thinking of the days to come. And, now, it’s here.

How were the days before to this is really hard to answer. It was more or less a suffering of its own kind – a pain inside for not doing something that I wanted; to own a venture. Probably the biggest that I have felt, so far. And to start-off was the only way to see my life in more meaningful way. “Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can respond by being responsible. “ ... from the book, ‘Man’s search for meaning’.

A line that worked like a medicine
It was my dream and not someone else’s. Probably, I took longer to understand this. And thinking of ‘the idea’ wasn’t helping either. The thought was to start something, anything, and not wait for an idea that would take the world by storm. I realised it’s the journey that matters, doesn’t matter what I gain out of it. It’s like a boy collecting pebbles on the river bed, he is not looking for the pebbles. What keeps him going from one pebble to another is the joy in finding. Pebble is just symbolic. So, it didn’t matter what my venture was all about.

“But what”? Was to be decided. ( I know, I said, it doesn’t matter). Probably, the hardest was to choose something. I had to choose something that would work with my strengths. I think, this is very significant for anyone. And having just 2 - 3 options, made it difficult for me.

Agonized, frustrated, as I ever was, wanting a peaceful place I reached a nearby hilltop, sat there for some time. That day I wanted to end this all. A quote, ran again and again in my head ...”It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped”. It made me energized from within. After some thinking I choose to make my passion into a profession – to be a photographer. It was a great sense of relief, ending what looked a chronic pain, I left towards home.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”

After that decision
This period has been an eye opener to me on the power of decision making. There are 100’s of research articles on this, I don’t wish to write them here. But yes, it plays a crucial role whether we make one or don’t.

The world started to look a lot familiar, I know where I was going. I started to know what it takes to be in the shoes of a photographer. I began learning more consistently on the art. My mind was getting prepared; envisioning the days ahead. I soon started getting projects; portfolios, engagements & weddings.

For the first time after holding the camera for nearly two years, while I was in Pondicherry, I discovered the joy of making photographs. It was not because I was making good photographs, but just seeing through the camera and clicking by itself was joyous. My mind & heart danced to some mystical tunes. Wow! This is what I was looking for.

I met Low Rhyders, in Pondicherry, a leading hip-hop band, who had come from Bangalore to perform. I didn’t know, taking some cool photographs of them could open more avenues for me. Low Rhyders band had been touring with Lucky Ali, and also working with him on their music. Impressed with my photographs, they offered me to photograph Lucky Ali’s concert in Cochin. No surprises, the concert was just amazing; Lucky rocked the show with his voice, and his beautiful songs. Little did I know that the photographs the clicked in the concert would be published in Filmfare magazine. It was elated to see my photographs and my name along them was a bonus.

Recently I joined Drishti School of Photography, headed by a wonderful person, Mr. Gautam. when I met him, he just took 5-10 to impress me with his mastery on the subject. With him, each day, my knowledge is being deepened, it’s like, the more I know the more I don’t know.

Now, I’m turning into a professional. An art which is relatively new amongst all art forms. A subject which interests everyone from children to the older people. Sometimes the result of it is more than what it is popularly called “ a thousand words”. N number of people have taken this path, by luck , by experiment or by choice, and only a few have manged to leave a mark, as in any art. It’s difficult to master, and it’s competitive and there are always questions in my mind, like this one – “Am I good enough?”. But I have chosen this path, and it’s mine now.

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I have been asked quite a few things on my decision by many. Well, here are few.
FAQ

What if you fail ...is there a safety net?
Too keep the answer simple, what I’m doing is business and I understand its risk. Safety net, No.

Are you O.K. earning less than what you’re currently?
Yes, It’s always difficult in any art to make money. I don’t deny there is, there is plenty. But only a handful have be able to do have it. Robert Adams in his book ‘Why people photograph’ puts it in this way – “Photographers may or may not make a living in photography, but they are alive by it”.

People’s favorite, Are your parents O.K with this?
I have always replied on this with a big smile on my face, taking a deep breath I utter, “see it was difficult for me to convince myself more than anyone”. When I told them about my decision, there was a NO, though it was not put across bluntly. After I started getting few assignments they started to be fine with the decision. It was a case of satisfying just one party, I let it be me.

Do you have a studio?
No